Faith. This key was an unexpected gift but I immediately knew it was given to me so I could literally hold onto faith for my friend.
While certainly mine, she is actually a best friend to many. She is fierce but gentle. She is good at everything she does. And everything she does is done with the utmost grace. Her brother calls her “mother f*ing Theresa” but her humble heart would never share that with anyone other than her closest people - another reason nobody would ever argue with that description. She is kind and patient, wow is she patient. Her patience was tested beyond belief as she waited to conceive a little one and at last, it was happening. She was pregnant and absolutely beaming on my doorstep at 9PM with the pregnancy test in her hand (which was likely still wet with pee). My friend had accomplished her deepest desire while overcoming a marathon of emotions in which her faith was tested in so many ways. This would be the most cared for and loved little human. And from that moment constant fulfillment and gratitude oozed for 9 months. Not a single complaint even if it was warranted.
But then the earth shattering occurred, and nothing made sense. Everything we thought and knew to be true was now in question. The idea of faith was empty because this particular journey of parenthood took a complete turn when their son was born. Not early but he was born suddenly. And the words really don’t register because this is not how anyone dreamed it. Somehow in the background, faith kicks in because that’s all anyone has. We have to have faith that this beautiful little boy will survive. And while he does… he is sick. He is very sick. But he is a fighter, and even fighters grow tired. His life was short but leaves an insurmountable impact on those around him as he passed away peacefully in his parents' arms. Now we must have faith that these loving parents will survive this loss. And somehow they are surviving. Our friends, so torn apart by the unimaginable somehow have found strength, power, and strive to find happiness again. It is the most heartbreaking journey to see, yet, the most inspiring. Which only leaves me to believe that even when we question faith, it just simply occurs. It hangs in the balance when nothing makes sense. It waits and exists in whatever way people decide it exists. These parents are an example of having faith that life will again be enjoyable. Faith in wishes, dreams, desires, and that they will be okay. Faith that one day their little angel will have a brother or sister. That is why I will pass this key onto my friend. The key was a symbol for me to have faith despite unimaginable painful experiences but now I just need to think of her. And I do several times a day. And I hope that when her faith wavers, she will be holding this key as a reminder she is proof that faith, hope, and happiness still exist even when it’s too overwhelming to believe.
-Sara
